Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
