plz talk dirty to me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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