Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
