WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
