he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
