he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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