it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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