Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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