is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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