weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
