I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
whose parrot is this?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
