at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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