he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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