After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
