Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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