dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
