Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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