Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
