My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Randomize
