walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's just like the Real World with babies
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
