Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
