i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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