I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
