i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
