just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am mentally ready for anal.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize