How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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