No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
