Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am available for nakedness
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
