i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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