Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
