oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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