If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
