I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
