I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sorry my hands just texted you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
