about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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