White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
