Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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