p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think my moral compass just broke
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
