At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize