if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize