Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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