yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Let's paint friendship bongs
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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