Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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