whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
