I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize