Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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