did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
