No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
