bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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