Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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