you mean i was at the winter classic?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
